Four years ago I started an Interfaith group of six couples each from a different faith. My hope for the group was to create a safe place where we could say to each other those things we truly believe, those things we hold closely to our hearts. My hope was we would discover a common ground among all of our faiths. And we did. But I also wanted to create a safe place where we could talk about the areas which we do not have in common. It is important to find the common ground but how can we truly know each other and live in peace if we only talk about what we agree upon. It can be difficult and quite scary to say what we truly believe, especially if the beliefs are opposed to each other. Sometimes we just say nothing, thinking we are preserving the peace. And sometimes we say what is believed to be The Truth, in an offensive manner that is harmful to the relationship. I knew creating an environment of safety, where we could discuss those things which we hold close to our hearts, was essential for the interfaith group to become a group who understood each other, cared for each other and would be committed to being at peace with one another. To help us in the process of creating a safe place, we as a group wrote ground rules for our discussions. The purpose of these grounds rules was to know that we had agreed together on a manner in which we were going to communicate with each other, even and maybe especially if we disagreed with one another. Martin Marty, a Lutheran theologian has stated "people these days who are civil often lack strong convictions and people with strong religious convictions often are not very civil. What we need is people with convicted civility." Those ground rules helped us create a safe place where we could be convicted about our beliefs but where we were civil in how they were expressed and in how they were heard. This allowed for friendships to deepen and for understanding to occur.
2 comments:
Dear Ramona,
Bible has a saying, "Let there be light." In Hinduism, we have, "Let the light come from all sides." You have started this dialogue with other faiths which shows there is a sincere willingness to learn from others and to eventually find the "common ground." As you have said it truly, people talk on things they agree on, but are afraid to speak freely on things they believe are against other faiths.
Therefore, it may be good to start an open and free discussion here on what our scriptures say that are anti other faiths or what we interpret them saying as such. These comments are just to get all of us involved meaningfully to achieve long-lasting peace. It may bring out some dirt that is inside most of us, but it is good to do some cleaning sometimes. It will be interesting to see what others have to say. Best wishes, Ramesh Narang.
Dear Ramesh, Thank you for your comment on my first post. You are the first person to comment. What fun! In my experience with interfaith groups, ground rules are essential in having a discussion that addresses differences in religions. Without ground rules the ‘discussion’ can turn into a ‘debate’. In my opinion, there is a place for debate in academia but there is not a place for debate in peacemaking endeavors. In the community wide Interfaith Events which I have hosted, I have intentionally created an environment for learning about other faiths through dialogue but not by debate. After the events a few audience members have said they would have liked to see the speakers ‘go at each other’. In my experience that approach leads to a posture of defensiveness not of humility. Discussing differences on this blog, without any ground rules, would require each person to be a humble listener as they express their beliefs with convicted civility. I agree with you that being honest about what is inside of us, and doing a bit of cleaning now and again, is essential for understanding. Peace to you, Ramona
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